Don't you just hate...

[Dave]

………….. awesome Twats !

The middle aged guy who stereotypes women into 2 categories of clueless housewife bint or buggy pushing chav and hasn’t quite realised that there is a huge amount of women out there who are actually financially independent and have had to work a lot harder than their male counterparts just to be taken seriously by the middle aged awesome male twats they work for and can drive their cars well and some even ride a bike!

hahahaha

that is almost as good as some of McWullies jokes

[Space Invader]

Oh, btw, about the middle-aged awesome male jester bit? I resent being called middle-aged

Yeah, it's been a while since those days, hasn't it Mannie!!

If you wanted to wipe them out with a smart bomb, try Google Earth and look for the house with 12 or more 4x4's/people carriers outside at 0915 hours

That's both our houses wiped out as well then.......

What guy in his right mind would let his missus take the car anywhere near the A944? Can't he programme the satnav to only show maps of Westhill so they don't get out of their depth?

Oh man you are in so much trouble...... I can see the big ginger effort driving her 4x4 all the way across the road to set the small psycho terrierist on you! (Spelling intentional)

[Dave]

Having to let your chum out of his locked van

Dealing the with angry wasps the other day was a more pleasant experience

[al]

Having to let your chum out of his locked van

Was it McWullie???

[Dave]

I cant say

[Space Invader]

Adverts that use the terms below.

"Up to 95% effective...... " (Might not work at all)
"Results may vary" (See above.. for "may" read "will")
"Prices start at...." (Yeah, if you want the one that looks like the dogs had it)
"From......" (As above but insinuating that you are going to want any of the range that looks like pikeys left it in a layby)
"AMAZING OFFERS...." (Who's going to be amazed, me that you charge so much or you if somebody pays it?)
"At all participating stores" (Yes, I know that they are all franchises, trading upder your name and can charge whatever they want) Try buying anything at BK's or McD's in an airport as an example. "Sorry, we're not participating in that particular offer, £5.99 for the MacQuarterpooper please.....
"The more you spend, the more you save" (F**K off, I'm married, I stopped being fooled by that logic years ago.)
(
All totally meaningless.

[Dave]

"The more you spend, the more you save"

Oh I don’t know...I have used the ...”but if I just get this as well, oh I will have saved ££’s” lots of times



Not saying that it worked, but you have got to try

[Shroomer-t]

dont you just hate...getting sideswiped by a van when you gently filtering traffic as he didnt look in his mirrors....this morning..was ok tho didnt come off.

[Dave]

dont you just hate...getting sideswiped by a van when you gently filtering traffic as he didnt look in his mirrors....this morning..was ok tho didnt come off.

bugger

glad you are ok


any damage to your bike or the van ?

[Shroomer-t]

no thankfully, it was just a slight tap, just hit my head a bit and my arm off his door., was at very low speed tho so i was lucky.

he thought saying sorry would make it all better I can't believe it's not butter!....i just left.

[Shroomer-t]

i didnt write love our lord???

[Zathos]

Glad to hear you are ok mate

i didnt write love our lord???

AH yes, you have found one of the auto corrected words. It's a feature of forums to be able to automatically change specific words (designed to prevent swearing and the like)....

...on here we use em to filter words which get laughs (well we laugh anyway)

[Shroomer-t]

ok cool...

[Space Invader]

i didnt write love our lord???

Sure you didn't.........

You have a lot to learn about this site, my young Jedi knight....

Things are perhaps not always what they seem.........

(Research other posts to see which keywords get changed, and don't slag off Admin, ( or you'll get a title like mine)

Big Kneed Al (master of the emergency stop & "stand up" comedian), Zath, Getting bored with the current one, any chance of a new one???? <Did I really say that??>

Go for it wee man, and pie Monster, lets see what you've got......

(I'm going to regret this!)

[Gazza]

(I'm going to regret this!)

[Dave]

“Internet Access Denial” when doing research recommended by someone

[Zathos]

“Internet Access Denial” when doing research recommended by someone

Searching for dodgy stuff at work again
Just keep spamming the refresh button......eventually it will work


.....or the IT cops will appear

[Ratz]

“Internet Access Denial” when doing research recommended by someone

would you rather the message was :-

"PERVERT ALERT, SO WE HAVE BLOCKED THE INTERNET FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR SIGHT"

[Dave]

SAFETY OF YOUR SIGHT"

lost that years ago

[Dave]

Feckers that drive 1.5 miles on the right hand lane on a duel carriageway when there is nothing in the left hand land lane, then move into the left hand lane to turn left at a roundabout


Why...just why

[kayaksteph]

Don’t you just hate...

When your motorbike is broken and having to wait til its fixed!!!

[Rocky Mountaineer]

Feckers that drive 1.5 miles on the right hand lane on a duel carriageway when there is nothing in the left hand land lane, then move into the left hand lane to turn left at a roundabout


Why...just why

Did you follow that moron in the silver Ka this morning as well, towards Aberdeen? I'm sure he was the same one doing the same thing going the other way the night before, everyone was pulling into the left lane to get round him.

Idiot.

[Gazza]

Feckers that drive 1.5 miles on the right hand lane on a duel carriageway when there is nothing in the left hand land lane, then move into the left hand lane to turn left at a roundabout


Why...just why

Did you follow that moron in the silver Ka this morning as well, towards Aberdeen? I'm sure he was the same one doing the same thing going the other way the night before, everyone was pulling into the left lane to get round him.

Idiot.

Quite a stupid law that stops us from overtaking on either side. It promotes a more productive lane coverage, thereby reducing the amount of traffic in each lane. Net result is a bigger gap between traffic (particularly in the outside lane), more often than not the cause of accidents and less road Anal Intrusion. Takes a little getting used and requires concentration on both mirrors, which can't be a bad thing. All of the countries I've driven in that allow it don't have a problem......otherwise they'd also ban it, I'm sure.

[Stew]

Funny thing, really.I'm sitting here in an office in the Middle East, having only driven in Aberdeen for 6 days in the last 8 weeks, and I still really, really hate "Westhill wifies" at 7am Monday to Friday doing 45mph in the outside lane towards Kingswells with a death-grip on the steering wheel, hunched over like Rossi through a chicane at Assen. And I particularly hate the one in the little blue foreign car that invariably stops at the green light at Kingswells roundabout to see if the way is clear and then stops AGAIN at the next green light just one-third of the way through the roundabout to check that the way is clear from Kingswells and then goes even slower all the way to Langstracht.
Why is her car not fitted with yellow flashing lights like a proper tractor?

.

What guy in his right mind would let his missus take the car anywhere near the A944? Can't he programme the satnav to only show maps of Westhill so they don't get out of their depth?

Every area probably has 'Wifies' like that but Westhill seems to be over run with these clueless bints. They are the middle-class Westhill Wifies.
On a beautiful sunny day, they spend ages getting dolled up like they're going to Royal Ascot, sorting their child out for school, loading the poor kid into a 7 seater people carrier/4x4, driving the 500 yards to Westhill Primary School whilst barely seeing over the top of the dashboard, parking in front of people's driveways even when they see a car reversing down it, letting the kid out of the car onto the road when there's a perfectly good pavement on the other side, standing gabbing to other WW's with the car doors wide open so you can't get past, then down to Aldi for a bit of shopping which they put in the M&S bags she got 3 years ago, then they have to go to another WW's house to meet the 'girls' 'cos if they know that if they don't go the others will speak about them. If you wanted to wipe them out with a smart bomb, try Google Earth and look for the house with 12 or more 4x4's/people carriers outside at 0915 hours
When their husband arrives home from a hard day at work in the Micra/Corsa/Saxo which was bought for her but she insists she needs the space his car provides(ie: her best pal has a Cayenne/Tuareg/Range Rover so she has to have something similar) she then goes on at great length about 'What a hard day she's had' and 'You don't know how hard it is being a housewife' while completely ignoring the fact that he's been grafting since 0600hours every day to finance her 'lifestyle'.

There is also a 'working class' Westhill Wifie.
These are the ones that either don't drive or their husbands have deemed them to be too f**kin' stupid to be allowed behind the wheel. They're never seen near the roads. They can only be seen between 0845 - 0915 hours and 1445- 1530 hours whizzing along Westhill's labyrinth of paths, pushing a buggy containing a sticky-faced child that's chomping into it's third Curly Wurly of the day before 9am whilst dragging the other 4 kids along with her. They chuck on the cleanest track/shell suit they have(invariably non-matching halves), Nike Airs, put their hair up in a pony tail that sticks out of the side of their head, give the kids chocolate for breakfast so it'll keep them awake in class because they were out till midnight the night before trashing gardens, they then rush out along the myriad of pathways to school and drop the kids off as soon as they're within sight of school so the middle class WW's don't get the chance to look down their noses at them.

There is apparently an Upper Class Westhill Wifie but nobody's ever seen one because they spend most of the day on the Golf Course and then meet for coffee in the Clubhouse because making coffee is the only thing that their cleaners/housemaids won't do for them.

It's only the middle class ones that get on my tits but I tolerate their ridiculous/selfish behaviour because some of them are actually quite tidy

Sorry to drag this one back from the dead.... Replace Westhill primary with Crombie Primary for me please!

However I'm close enough to the Academy to play the dangerous game of 'Am I allowed to think she's tidy or will I go to jail?'

[kayaksteph]

Being away from 5am on a sunday morning!!! I want to be able to sleep. Got a hockey match today.