Biggest Bike maintenance FAIL

[Cossackmannie]

After reading Ronz's post on brake maintenance, I was thinking that nearly everyone has a FAIL story, either by themselves or someone they know. Maybe we should get them down on here?

To start off-

One evening in the Broadstraik, I met an old pal who asked if that was my Cossack outside. I proudly started to spout off at length about how much fun they were and that, statistically according to insurers, the safest form of motorcycling.
Upon closing time, I offered him a lift home in the 'chair'. As he couldn't be ersed walking, he accepted. He jumped into the chair with the bravado of a WW1 pilot off to hammer the Bosch and we set off through Elrick towards Aberdeen. I turned left up Wellgrove Rd and hurtled into the sweeping left-hander with the intention of lifting the chair wheel and freaking him out.
However, at this point, the chair wheel decided to go it's own way and came off, bouncing over the outfit and into a garden on the other side of the road. The outfit was, by now, grinding to an embarrassing halt. Mate asked 'How the f**k did that happen?
I looked at the wheel spindle and wondered what happened. How could the wheel nut come off? It was at this point that I remembered I'd been adjusting the chair brake before heading off to the pub. I put my hand in my pocket and found the 'R' clip that should've been securing the castellated wheel nut.

He's never let that one go!!

[Coddy]

As well hand this post open to the lucky one now.

[Zathos]

Many moons ago I managed to drop a wheel spacer when refitting the rear wheel on my first CBR. Tightened it up and off for a shake down run.

Back home after 50 miles or so and poped the bike onto the centre stand to check everything and the wheel nut was well slack.

Tightened it up and thought "thats just not right" so stripped it all down only to find (or rather not find) a spacer.

Result was two shagged wheel bearings and the requirement to drink lots of alcohol once I figured out what had happened

Found the offending item under the workbench months later after I had replaced it
It now sits on the workbench as a permanent reminder to double check everything

[Gazza]

On a cycle rather than a motorcycle.

Changed my brake blocks when I was a kid. Put them in the wrong way around. Work fine until needed in emergency at a T junction at the bottom of a 1 in 5 hill At which point they promptly shot out.

The woman who helped dig me out of her rose bushes was quite considerate considering I'd trashed her garden after flying over the wall.

[al]

The only fail I've had as such has been snapping a couple of exhaust manifold bolts in the engine block. Not really a fail on my part rather Honda making the studs from cheese!

I have however, had fails made by various dealers working on my bikes which makes me paranoid about letting someone else work on it. Those mistakes vary from overfilling the engine with oil filling up the airbox and existing through the drain tube and onto the back wheel, not tightening up the fairing & mudguard bolts, to not attaching the seat back on properly and ending up with me sliding up onto the tank when the seat came off under hard breaking.

Big Kneed Al (master of the emergency stop & "stand up" comedian).

[Dickie]

I was at Cadwell last year plodding around on an endurance round. It was pissing rain on the morning of race day and because qualifying didn't start until about 10:30 there was plenty time for me to change the wheels to wets myself. "I'll handle this one, boys." I said to my crack squad of MotoGP-spec mechanics.

Anyway, off for qualifying I went and after a few laps I noticed I was suffering from a lack of braking at the end of Park Straight. I cracked on and managed a couple of decent laps before coming in. When I returned to the gazebo I noticed one of my front wheel spacers lying beside the paddock stand. The front wheel had been moving side-to-side and pushing the pads back.

Still qualified 5th though, so no harm done.

[Akrapovic]

I have not had any, as I get others to do it for me.

[Zathos]

I have not had any, as I get others to do it for me.

*cough* Tuono stripdown *cough*

[Akrapovic]

I have not had any, as I get others to do it for me.

*cough* Gran Torino stripdown *cough*

I seem to remember having some pleb giving me some help (see doing).

[Zax]

I have not had any, as I get others to do it for me.

How about your "dry sump oil change" ??? that one may qualify

[The Rossi Kid]

Unless you count the old drill bit through my hand while trying to remove a baffle rivet...................

[Akrapovic]

Like I said, I get others to do it for me!!

Thanks guys.

I know I have the mechanical ability of a used tampon.

[Swampy]

And some people can't even check air pressures in tyres without major failure!!!

At the Stonehaven filling station with the air-compressor rapidily spending my 20p, front tyre to the correct pressure and heading for the back on the right-hand-side of the bike when I realised that the valve couldn't be reached by the air-pump. Droped the pump on the floor, walked to the front of the bike and lifted the bike upright by the mirror stalks and walked the bike slowly toward myself for half a metre or so. Then I lowered the bike over to the my right onto the stand that had decided to pop up without me knowing. The bike got too heavy and it was dropped.

Pissed off? you bet ya!

Have I done it again? nope

Is it the first time I had done it? erm... well, erm, nope

...I dropped my VFR in very similar circumstances

[g.cowen]

A couple of days before my bike test, many moons ago, I blew the head gasket on my MTX 125. New one arrived on day of test - slapped it in, didnt have time, or experience, to check torque settings - blew again on way to test centre. Had to apply for another slot after bike was fixed by a real mechanic

[Quicksilver]

Not on a bike but...
I was swapping out a stereo in an Astra I had. Read all the instructions, tested all the connections and thought I had wired it up correctly. Turned on the stereo, nice sound coming out, all seems good. Primed the ignition switch and filled the car with smoke. I'd hooked the aux power to the constant supply. Worked fine when the ignition was off but shorted when the ignition was turned on. Melted the aux power cable all the way between the stereo and ignition barrel.