Mechanical Numpty Seeks Help

[Gingerpose]

Here's the thing: I want to tackle a couple of jobs on me bike during me hols next week. Problem being my lack of experience/confidence doing these jobs myself. Plus I need to save the pennies!
So, is there anyone out there who is willing, in exchange for lots of tea/scran etc, to guide me in the Art of Motorcycle Mechanic-ing?
What I want to do is basically learn how to do a minor service: check chain alignment/tension: do valve clearances, drain and refill coolant, check and bleed brakes and have a wee look at the plugs and coils.
If any one can help I'd greatly appreciate it. I have the necessary tools (I think) but would have to do the work outside the house or in the back garden (nice big paved area).
If interested, contact me here for further details.
Cheers